The words below belong to adult MKs (Missionary Kids) who spent a significant portion of their childhoods in a country where their parents served as missionaries. I asked them to reflect on their lives as MKs and speak to parents today who are planning to take their children with them to the mission field.
--prepared by Kathryn B. McDonald for LCMS World Mission, Missionary Orientation 1998
Your child needs good solid teaching on the "good touch-bad touch" stuff.
It needs to be age appropriate and clear. Your MK will be entering a life
where everyone is a stranger yet, paradoxically, everyone is almost a relative.
The usual shyness boundaries children have won't protect them. They need
words and social skill tools to protect themselves.
--Beth, MK from Thailand
Your children need you to contact their new school (unless they'll be home
schooled) well before leaving for missionary service.
Besides enrolling your children early, you need to
ask questions about the
availability of programs
your children have enjoyed in the States--sports,
drama, music (do they sing, play an instrument--which one?, do they take
private lessons and wish to continue?), foreign
language offerings, AP
courses, etc. If some
of their favorite activities will not be offered, it's best to
know that early so they can think about and plan to
try some new things at
their new school.
--Melody Faris, MK Teacher in Taiwan
What parents of MKs should know about their MKs
Your child will become a foreigner.
Your children, raised
in another culture, will have a completely
different background/childhood than you had, even though you may think
you are providing an "American" upbringing for them
at home.
It sounds
simple, but I think this is something that MK parents have a
hard time grasping entirely. They keep
talking about Johnny's ability to
speak X-language,
or Johnny's going to an X-school as though their child was
different from them in only a few
particulars. What they don't realize is that
raising a child in another culture puts a gulf of "unshared" experience and
cultural identity between parents and child which
will need to be faced. The
sooner MK parents
realize that this is part of the sacrifice they are signing
themselves and their children up for, the
better. No sense in covering up the
brutal
reality of things.
--Dorothy, MK from Germany
Your kids will grow up between cultures, and have to learn by adaptation to
adopt the good parts of their various cultural influences.
Your kids will grow
up on the front line between religions and world
views; the more they see of how the ideals of Christianity often break down
in practice, the harder it will be for your kids to
reconcile their life experience
with the idea that
your religion is the right one, or even the best one, let
alone the only one.
--Anonymous MK
Your child will adapt more quickly and readily to the new culture than you
will.
The younger
your child when you enter missionary service, the
stronger and deeper will be the cultural impact. Social issues start to
creep
in when the child is 10+. Parents may
overlook these issues or try to cushion
their
impact. Parents need to watch for signs of withdrawal, apathy, etc.
--Paul, MK from Guinea and Cote d'Ivoire
I think younger
children will adapt more quickly, older children may
have more trouble. I have noticed that
children who go overseas for the first
time when
they are teens don't know where they fit in; they have trouble
making national friends, especially if they go to
boarding school or live on a
mission compound with
many other whites around them.. The parents have
a reason for being there and are forced into
communicating with and relating
to the
nationals. The children (unless they go to a national school) do not
have this, and can feel like excess baggage at
times. But, the biggest factor
in any family
member's cultural adaptation remains the parents' attitudes
and the health of the family system.
Nate, MK from Zambia
While you are visiting various churches on deputation, NEVER EVER make
your children stand up publicly without their prior knowledge and agreement.
If they want to help
with your presentation, great. Work out a plan in
advance so everyone knows their own role and what
to expect from everyone
else. Don't USE your
children. Children are people, not assets to help in
your deputation. Don't ever put them on the
spot. If you do, you run the risk
of having
your children grow up with an image of church as a place to dread.
If your children choose not to participate in your
presentation, then advise
the pastor, worship
leader or whoever is introducing you, that they are not to
embarrass your children either by asking them to
stand during the service.
Remember that while
any given church might be full of dear friends
and
precious supporters of yours, these same people are strangers to your
children. If you want your children to have
relationships with these people,
then work on
building those relationships privately and one at a time. MKs
have enough differences to deal with without
feeling like they are being put
on stage for a room
full of adult strangers to gawk at.
--Mimi, MK from
Vietnam
Tell your children that they are NEVER responsible for making it possible
for
you to go/cope with/stay/flourish/handle/be comforted during/have
fruitful
ministry/be respected/communicate with the nationals/have a good
name among
other missionaries/carry out God's will/fulfill your calling,
etc., etc., etc.!!
Be
very careful at all times that that message doesn't get
communicated by accident, by anyone else, by the
child's own imagination. It
is a destructive
one. It is too much for a child to bear. It kills God's
lovingkindness in the child's heart. A
missionary's calling is his or her own.
The child
never chose it. Even though the child may love the country and
lifestyle he/she lives in, it was never a calling
in the child's life. The child
must always be
allowed to be a loved, protected, carried-along person. Your
children are no more missionaries than any child
anywhere.
--Beth, MK from Thailand
Involve your children in family decision-making.
All decisions affect
each member of the family. All need to be
consulted or, at the very least, given a clear explanation of the whole
situation. A person's size or age does not
change his/her need to be involved
in the family's
decisions.
--Paul, MK from Chad
Your children's need of you does not end at 18.
They really need you at 19, 20, 21, 22 and beyond.
Do not be surprised when your children are heartbroken about a plane
crash
half a world away in a country they do not know.
Your children have a chance to learn to love the
entire world.
Your children need to see you take your troubles to God and
weep in prayer.
They will thank you for the example
later.
Your children will not automatically follow in your footsteps as
missionaries
or as Christians.
Do not neglect the
spiritual formation of your children. Just because
you're doing "God's work", you are not guaranteed
your children will pick up
everything you
believe. Your children's spiritual growth remains your
responsibility.
--Rachel, MK from Japan
Teach your kids early and often how to deal with and process grief.
Get some training in
dealing with grief issues. Due to the transience
of most MKs' lives, grief is a regular
companion. And the grief of losing a
friend
(or all of one's friends) to furlough or yet another move, is as great for
a child as losing a friend to death. Let your
children grieve their losses, and
help them learn
how to do it in an emotionally healthy way.
Mimi,
MK from Vietnam
Make sure your kids know that they are a higher priority for you than "the
work".
"The work"
is dispensable. Your kids are not. If you don't believe this
or don't understand it, please do not become a
missionary. Remind your kids
often that they
are more important to you than "the work" and show this in
the way you live your daily lives, as well as in
words.
--Mimi, MK from Vietnam
Make your home stable and loving.
"Home" may be the
only constant in your child's life, and if it is
painful, that is excruciating. Have something, some rituals or objects
that
can make any place familiar and
home-like. Transitional objects--blankets,
stuffed animals, favorite toys--are even more important to rootless children.
--Beth, MK from Thailand
Brand names are important to your kids.
When your child reaches 16,
teach him/her to drive.
Just because your son play with topless girls,
don't assume he knows about
sex.
Different cultures'
sexuality expression can be confusing to a kid
growing up in a TCK situation. MKs have their host culture, their
missionary culture, and their passport country
culture all mingled together.
And, since cultural
sexuality is usually unspoken, it can be confusing
because they don't have the words to think about it or come to an
understanding of it. (Beth, MK from Thailand)
Learn about your child's culture.
"Red Hot
Chili Peppers" is more than just a food!
--Kurtis,
MK from Nigeria
Top Things MK Parents Should Know About Re-entry Issues
Encourage your child to go to college at a school where their
interests can be
developed, NOT a Christian school simply because it is
Christian.
People at
a Christian school will not understand your child any more
than anyone else. Your child's education is
the most important
consideration.
The most important
thing your child should consider when choosing
the
school is the school itself. Once at the school, the most important
spiritual activity is to get involved in a
Bible-based group like Campus
Crusade, Intervarsity
or a good local church.
Encourage your child to return to the
country of his/her youth.
If you or your
mission can finance it, then do so. This will help greatly
with grief of losing "home" and will also help put
things into perspective.
("Home" is not a perfect
place like one's memory tends to make it.)
Encourage your child to
maintain contact with other MKs.
This gives them a
support group that will understand their unique problems.
--Jack, MK from Ethiopia and Kenya
An MK Observes Differences Between Long-term and Short-term MKs
In my high school experience, SOME of the
short-term MKs had a harder
time because they felt so uprooted whereas SOME
of us long-term MKs had an
easier time readjusting to the "home" culture, I
would rather face the
"readjustment" from the greater ignorance of the
long-term MK perspective than
suffer the trauma of this short MK experience
during a crucial stage of adolescence.
For the
lifelong well-being of the MK, basic family health is more important
than
specific re-entry skills or knowledge. Being suddenly thrown into the mission
field and perhaps especially into boarding school during the crucial years
of
adolescence can greatly detract from "basic family health". Also,
"being thrown into
boarding school" seems a common plight of the short-term
MK as parents often opt
for short-term mission when their children are in
high school, since smaller
children require more work in terms of travel,
etc.
As in any circumstance, I suspect the children
are likely to thrive if they are
not neglected by their parents.
--Jon,
MK from Philippines
An MK Talks About Rootlessness
At first the "The
Atlantic vs. Pacific" thing seems like a somewhat
silly war of words about
favorite haunts and favorite experiences
associated with oceans and, now,
more generally, water. Given that so
much of the planet is covered
with water, it is not surprising that so
many of us have deep associations
with places that involve water. Water
is also very soothing or very
arousing and water is not something we can
ever control successfully.
We can manage it, perhaps, but there is
simply too much of it to really
control. So, in a way, water and oceans
become metaphors for something
bigger than we are and something, like
God, which will be what it will be,
and will not be our errand boy.
But the discussion
has touched on something else very deep in our
MK psyches. It, water,
seems to be a vehicle taking us back and inward to
experiences and times
which lie at our very core and of which we feel
bereft. Mk's, mostly,
don't have roots. We try to rationalize that away
by saying isn't it
grand we have an international upbringing or it was
lovely growing up in
several cultures. If we are particularly pious, we
will say things
like, well, the Son of Man had no place to lay his head so
why should the
servant be greater than the master, and trite stuff like
that.
But the truth, which we repeatedly deny until we
are old enough
(which can be 12 or 18 or 76) to know better, is that we have
no home, we
need a home, and we don't know where to find a home. Our
parent's homes
are not our homes and our temporary abodes are not our
homes. When we
marry, if we do, and settle down, we may have a
home. But a home without
roots is only half a home. We may say,
again, well heaven is our home.
But it isn't. God made man for the
earth and there is no comfort to be
had in thinking about a disembodied
experience wandering around "heaven".
We can look forward to a redeemed
experience on the new earth God will
make, but we can never recreate or
recover what was lost on THIS earth, a
truth that CS Lewis realized when he
acknowledged that God had given him
Joy Davidman, in this life, because he
would never know human sexual love
in the next. Eros, and its
embodiment in marriage, is one of God's good
gifts for this time and this
planet, only.
Eventually we may admit the real
truth to ourselves, but many of
us won't, ever. It is simply too
painful and it calls all our theology
and world-life view into serious
question. We've been "had". We've been
duped by those who claim
to be servants of the Most High God and, maybe,
by extension, by the Most
High God Himself. We have been asked to believe
a very pretty lie:
that our homelessness is required so that the "Gospel"
can be
preached. It is lie because the "Gospel", if one has children,
begins
at home and with life as it is meant to be lived in creation and
out of a
profound understanding of God's Word, which is BOTH the Bible AND
Creation. It is very ironic that parents who usually have had, and
have,
homes with roots should consign their children to rootless
homelessness so
they can live out an unscriptural romanticism called
"missionary work".
I know that there are those who
will say, but I had a WONDERFUL
childhood as an MK and God has been such a
blessing and I FEEL so good
about it all. To them I can only say, God
bless you and enjoy it.
Because it isn't true for a lot of MK's. The
rest of us may, in God's
mercy and grace get to the place where we can
really acknowledge that God
is God, and not the cosmic errand boy of
triumphant fundamentalism and
evangelicalism.
Then, like Job, when God asks us, "Where were you when I laid the
earth's
foundation...? Have you ever given orders to the morning, or
shown the
dawn its place? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Can
you bring forth the constellations in their seasons? Will the one who
contends with the Almighty correct him..." we will say, "I know you can do
all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this
that obscures my counsel without knowledge? Surely I spoke of things I did
not understand, things too wonderful for me to know... My ears have heard
of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and
repent in dust and ashes." Then we can claim Christ's promise,
"Blessed
are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
Anyway, that's some of what I think is working away
in the deep
subterranean places of the hearts and souls of us who argue over
the best
beaches and the best oceans. But, I could be wrong.
--Joe, MK from Argentina
MKs and RE-ENTRY
Foreword: Recently, I asked a group of MKs to reflect on their re-entry to
the place
of their sending church. This may or may not be their place
of birth; it may or may
not be a place where they lived a significant number
of years; it may or may not be
their passport country. But it is a
place where they have come to live after leaving
the mission field where
their parents served as missionaries.
As you will
read, the issues surrounding re-entry run deep and are long
lasting in most
cases. Many MKs were deeply effected by a difficult re-entry period;
some fared better. All who wrote have chosen to share their
experiences here with
the hope that future MKs returning from the mission
field may make a satisfying
and successful adjustment to their new home.
--prepared by Kathryn B. McDonald
for LCMS World Mission
Missionary
Orientation 1998
Things to know:
For many MKs, the issue is entry, not re-entry.
Parents need to
realize that returning to their home does NOT imply
that it is returning home for the kids. Home for the kids will be the
mission
field.
-- by
Jack Elliston, MK in Ethiopia and Kenya
As a 13-year-old soon
to be 8th grader coming to the United States,
while
desperately not wanting to be seen as "different," the VERY last thing I
wanted was to "adjust" to the States. I
wanted to go home to Thailand and go
on to Dalat
School like my best friends before me.
--by Beth
Gualtieri Goff, MK in Thailand
It's not just the first year of
adjustment that needs attention.
Parents also need to
realize that issues will continue to come up which
are related to being an MK long after the initial adjustment period is over.
--Jack Elliston, MK in Ethiopia and Kenya
My first Christmas
here was great--Snow! Hot cocoa! Fires in the
fireplace! REAL pine trees! Caroling in
the cold! There was so much fun,
new,
exciting stuff to do! My second Christmas I went home with my
boyfriend to northern Minnesota where the
distraction of four feet snow,
snowmobiles, driving
on frozen lakes and the general nervousness of being
with his family kept me from having to face the
difficult adjustment issues.
But the third year,
perhaps long after anyone would have stopped
worrying about my adjustment, was the worst. The fun and novelty were
gone and I was left terribly lonely, depressed and
frustrated with still not
fitting in even after
"all this time"--basically in much worse shape than I had
been the first year. The end of college was
staring me in the face and I had
no idea of what I
was going to do. So I got married. That only led to another
five years of grief.
--by Marie Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
What helps:
Advance preparation for living in different
culture.
Depending on the age of the MK at
re-entry, preparation for things like
handling a
checking account, using a credit card, driving a car, finding a job,
shopping and preparing taxes will help the MK make
an easier adjustment to
a new home.
Re-entry seminars and retreats.
These are
designed specifically to help the MK develop skills needed to enter
or re-enter American culture. These are
places where the MK will be warmly
welcomed and
share experiences with others who really understand the MK
life.
One good thing was
that I attended a long weekend workshop for
returned MKs at Thanksgiving of my first year back. We were all college
students who were trying to "adjust." We
talked and talked and talked and
talked--I
literally stayed up for 72 hours talking and listening to others say
the same kinds of things.
--by Marie Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
Finding a host family that is a "good fit" for the MK.
If the parents are returning to the mission field,
it is critical to find a host
family for the MK who
will be "family" in the best sense of the word for the
MK. Even if the MK will be spending most time
at college, a host family is
still needed for
ongoing support and to provide a welcoming place on school
holidays, summer break and other times.
The host family may
be relatives or close family friends. But they
should be people the MK has had contact with during
the years on the
mission field. Parents can
prepare for this time when they are on home leave
by spending significant time strengthening relationships with friends and
relatives. Mission agencies must address this
need when helping
missionaries plan their home
leave time.
--by Susan Hands, MK in Ecuador
For me, the key to
the transition was having the caring family around--to provide a bed when
needed, a ride when needed, a place to go for breaks
from school and to be totally accepting of what I
did, allowing me to make my
own, although maybe not
good, decisions. I'm really glad my parents chose to
furlough around their family, so that I knew them
and they knew me. I'm
really glad my parents
let me go and were able to "cut the apron strings."
--by an Anonymous MK
Finding a good job.
I found my school to
be quite helpful in employment issues. The school
had a prominent job board and I was able to find as
much work as I needed.
I found the work experience
that I gained to be quite valuable in developing
my
resume. I found that one way that I was sure to get an interview was to
list "Climbed two tallest mountains in Africa" as
one of my accomplishments!
--by an Anonymous MK
Finding a purpose.
When my siblings
began arriving in the United States, I made sure
they had a place to go for the holidays (even if I did have to use my last
dollars on gas to pick them up), kept them stocked
with supplies and paid all
the long distance phone
bills. I don't know how much that helped in their
own re-entry--but it made my life, for the time
being anyway, seem to have a
purpose. It also
kept me from focusing on how alone and separated from
home (the place I knew I really belonged) I felt.
--by Margie Ulsh, MK in Irian Jaya, Indonesia and
Malaysia
Reading about MK issues.
As I got older, it
became very helpful to see in print the concerns,
issues and challenges I had faced. I felt validated by what I read.
It was
very important for me to realize that there
were reasons why I experienced
the things I
experienced when I came to this country and that none of it was
because I was bad, weak, wrong, confused,
unbalanced or in need of fixing.
--by Marie
Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
Connecting and staying
connected with other MKs.
Today the Internet
and e-mail provide opportunities for MKs to interact with
each other. Listserves and websites
specifically set up for MKs help them
adjust to
their new environment by letting them know there are others who
truly understand their concerns and feelings.
When the weekend
workshop for MKs was over, we tried to stay in
touch but we were all over the nation and there was no such thing as the
Internet. I think that lists like MKNet or
e-mail buddy programs--any way
that would keep MKs
in regular contact with each other--would help.
--by Marie Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
The biggest help to
me when I came to the States from Thailand at the
age of 13 was being at the missionary apartments at Ventnor, New Jersey,
and hanging out with other MKs. We never
talked about "MKNESS," but at
least we spoke each
others' language and intuitively understood each others'
fears. Being able to move back and forth
between the terrifying south Jersey
urban crowd and
the safe haven of our larger missionary family was good.
--by Beth Gualtieri Goff, MK in Thailand
Honest, practical advice.
A very helpful friend
clued me into the subtleties of living in this
strange (to me) new land. He went with me to get my driver's license, told
me how to trim my beard, and that "scrunchies"
weren't really "guy" attire in
the United
States. He also helped me figure out that the change of diet from
Spain to the United States really messed up my
system, and convinced me
that showering twice a day
was not too much.
By Andy Kerr, MK in Spain
What hurts:
Little or no preparation for living in different culture.
When I got to college,
I discovered no one cared who I was. I got laughed at because I didn't
know how to open a bank account or fill out my taxes. I didn't know what
was in style (for clothing and other things), didn't own a warm coat (and didn't
know how to shop for one) and wanted more than anything to go flying in a small
plane. But what hit me the hardest was that I had no where to go for Thanksgiving,
Christmas, or, for that matter, any holiday. And no one wanted me to come
with them--I was too "weird." I was lonely, afraid and confused.
So my outer walls began to build up quickly--on the outside I was a joking,
happy-go-lucky person; on the inside, I was slowly dying. It was so painful!
--by Margie Ulsh, MK in Irian Jaya, Indonesia and Malaysia
Lack of understanding regarding the MK's cultural differences.
Feelings of being different
and left out are particularly hard for teens to handle. MKs re-entering
a culture very different from the one they've lived in for many years can feel
acutely isolated. They won't know the jokes that "everybody knows," popular
phrases and "lingo," differences in the meanings of some words used in their
home culture ( a "tostado" at Taco Bell is a very different thing from a "tostado"
in Ecuador), popular songs and fashions, and so many other things that are a
"natural" part of American culture.
--by Susan Hands, MK in Ecuador
MKs are particularly
vulnerable to adjustment problems because they tend not to know where to go
for help, they feel isolated and they may be laboring under a "can't trouble
the parents/church/mission" feeling of responsibility.
--by A. Stent, MK in Pakistan
My re-entry problems
had to do with the huge cultural gulf that lay between myself and my classmates.
It seemed a big (negative) deal that I had never played softball before. I was
teased unmercifully by a peer for falling in love with the daisies in the back
yard and for picking a bunch. But most painful for me was the fact that
no one wanted to know about my past, my traveling or my interests. Church
people had no use for any information beyond the fact that my parents were missionaries.
No one was interested in the reality of that life.
--by Sharon Charoneink, MK in Thailand
I came to the States
at age 18 and had terrible trouble. I felt so completely alone, like nothing
I had done or been mattered to anyone here. It was awful! And I made a
series of really horrible personal decisions (including getting married) that
were nothing but reactions to this terrible experience. It took me a decade
to get it all sorted out.
--by Marie Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
Lack of understanding that re-entry issues are real.
"Get over it," if said
by the wrong person at the wrong time may cause
them to find their face buried in a plate of pasta
before they have time say,
"Pass the Parmesan."
--by Sharon Charoneink, MK in Thailand
The hardest thing was
that no one was interested in what mattered
the most to me. Give the kids every opportunity
to talk about what they love,
what their life was like "back home" and try to find
people who will be
interested and who will find it fascinating.
--by Phee Paradise, MK in Guatemala
Being unable to find a job.
I couldn't get a summer
job because I had never worked anywhere in
the United states. Any experience I had in Singapore
was so totally
incomprehensible in small-town middle America that
no employer wanted to
have anything to do with me. That continued to
be a problem during college
years as well. That alone can make you a social
outcast in a hurry.
--by Marie Williamson, MK in Malaysia and Singapore
Being left without family or friends nearby to help.
My first "port of re-entry"
was Britain. I knew nobody. I was far too
American for Scotland. I couldn't even hide like
a chameleon. The instant I
opened my mouth, I gave away my foreign identity.
I have horrible memories
of being spat on, being ostracized and spending many
days alone at lunch or
break time. Our local family was useless and
the church had a better chance
of understanding nuclear physics than MKs.
--by Iian, MK in Irian Jaya
BE flexible.
BE consistent.
BE knowledgeable of conflicting cultural factors.
BE committed to develop the dreams of the MK.
BE careful in areas of conflict and sensitivity.
BE respectful of the MK as a person. Invite their opinions regarding mission
policies and other areas where they
have
experience and knowledge. Avoid putting them "on-stage" with requests
like,
"Say something in another language."
DO NOT assume expectations are understood.
DO NOT make unconditional statements that are unrealistic such as, "Call me
anytime."
DO NOT expect re-entry symptoms to disappear quickly. Such symptoms include
loneliness, frustration and anger.
DO NOT try to force your way into areas of the MK's life that are not open.
It may take a long time for them to be able to trust you. Be patient.
SEMINARS and RETREATS:
Barnabas International (www.barnabas.org): re-entry issues primarily for MKs
(adult and children), offer inexpensive retreats and conferences.
Interaction (www.tckinteract.net): probably the best organization in existence today dealing with MK issues, including re-entry. Also host many re-entry seminars for MKs. This is an excellent website for parents--loaded with an incredible amount of great information about many aspects of MK life.
Paradise Mountain Ministries provides a home for MKs to live in while they attend college (during school days and the rest of the year). It is located in Toccoa, Georgia. It was built by a former missionary, Carolyn Eckman, who has a real "heart" for MKs. There are two homes now, each managed by an MK. For information, contact Sanna Gailer via e-mail: <jgailer@toccoafalls.edu>.
MKNet and mk-issues are two listserves where MKs talk openly with each other
about concerns, problems, remembrances and much more. It is for adults
(18 and older) and can be accessed by writing to <hub@xc.org>. For
more information, check the MK website: <http://www.gnvv.org/c|/gn/www.mknet.org>,
click on "Resources" and then "mailing lists" which will send to the complete
list of MK lists.
BOOKS:
Re-entry: Making the Transition from Missions to Life at Home. Practical
book for those returning from the field. Published by YWAM, 1992.
Available from William Carey Library (1-800-647-7466).
Re-entry Guidebook. Covers symptoms and effects of re-entry stress, how to prepare for re-entry, conflicting values, common unexpected situations, children and re-entry, and case examples. Published by International Resource Ministries (1-714-886-5224).
A good reading list can be found at: www.avalon.net/~jmarie/readings.html.
Following is an updated recommended reading list I gave to MK parents
in
previous years:
Recommended reading
for parents of MKs by MKs
(ISBN numbers given where available. Prices
listed are from date of publication.
**Indicates recommended more than
once.)
African Creeks I Have Been Up.
This is a collection of letters from an oil worker's
wife on their experiences in Nigeria to her daughter who is in boarding school.
Cross-Cultural Reentry by Dr. Clyde Austin, 1986. 0-915547-74-0, $13.95.
Forgive & Forget by Lewis B. Smedes. Published by Harper, 1991. 0-0606-7424-5, $4.95.
Especially for MKs by Robert W. Wright, Western Baptist College, Salem, Ore.
Healing for Damaged Emotions by David Seamands, 1991. 0-89693-938-3, $7.99.
**Letters Never Sent by Ruth van Reken, 1988. 0-9646423-0-1, $7.95. (It is best to order this directly from the author. Write to Ruth at: "Letters", P.O. Box 90084, Indianapolis, IN 46240; e-mail to <rdvanreken@aol.com>; phone or FAX at 317-251-4933. Ruth also has a website: members.aol.com/rdvanreken/index.htm)
The Life and Times of an MK by C. John Buffam. Published by William Carey
Library in Pasadena, California, 1985, 0-87808-198-4.
Written by a Wycliffe parent (missionary to India),
this book takes a more positive view of MK life. Includes the major phases
in the missionary child's life from infancy to adulthood.
Making Peace with Your Inner Child by Rita Bennett. Published by Revell, 1987. 0-8007-5240-6, $8.99.
Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary E. Wertsch, 1992. Recently republished by Aletheia Publications.
Putting Away Childish Things by David Seamands, 1993. 1-5647-6103-7,
$8.99.
David Seamands is an MK from India.
Sojourners, The Family on the Move by Ruth J. and Samuel F. Rowen. Published
by Associates of Urbanus in Farmington, Michigan, 1990. 0-930957-01-6,
$15.95.
This is a book of resources and includes lots of activities
and discussion points for parents to do with their children.
"Spiritual Wellbeing of MKs Studied" by Mental Health Institute, North York, Ontario, Canada. Vol. 6, No. 1, Spring 1994.
Strangers at Home: Essays on the Effect of Living Overseas and Coming "Home" to a Strange Land," edited by Carolyn Smith. Published by Aletheia Publications, 1996. 0-9639260-4-7.
**Swimming in the Congo by Margaret Meyers. Published by Milkweed Press,
1995, $13.95.
Margaret Meyers was born in Belgium and grew up as
an MK in Zaire. The book is fiction, based on her experiences and looks
at a multi-cultured
African world (black/white, American Protestant/European
Catholic) from the standpoint of a seven year old girl.
You're Someone Special by Bruce Narramore. Published by
Zondervan, 1980. 0-310-30331-1, $7.99.